Chapter 10 Ghosted

Adele Park on Pet Life Radio

In the humble opinion of Skitters the Cat, having your arch nemesis kick the bucket is a waste of dying time if they're going to continue to annoy you as a ghost. Today on the Quirky Cat Nips Podcast, we're airing Chapter 10 of Quirky Cat Gets Ghosted in our ongoing presentation of this hilarious audiobook. Meow Kitties!

Listen to Episode #17 Now:

Transcript:


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Announcer: This is Pet Life Radio.

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Announcer: Let's talk pets.

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Announcer: Cat lovers and feline friends, it's time for Adele Park's Quirky Cat Nips.

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Announcer: Today, on the Quirky Cat Nips Podcast, we're airing a chapter of Quirky Cat Gets Ghosted, which we will do until the entire audio book has been broadcasted.

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Announcer: We invite all you kitties to kick back now, relax and enjoy Quirky Cat Gets Ghosted by Adele Park.

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For!

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Announcer: >Audio Recording St.

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Announcer: >George Presents Quirky Cat Gets Ghosted Written, produced and edited by Adele Park Narrated by a full cast.

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A Directive from Gertrude Fletcher, Head of the Naval Utah Department of Motor Vehicles.

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Part 10.

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There is a song about how love can build a bridge.

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A person can die on that bridge and never make it to the other side.

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I am one such example.

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Blue McKenna is another.

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What is stopping our safe passage now?

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Love gone terribly wrong.

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Change is the only thing that remains steady, both in life and in death.

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A physical body that wasn't cremated goes through a natural deterioration process.

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Organs and flesh become liquefied, eventually decomposing all the body's soft tissue.

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Clearly, this isn't a concern for those who have been cremated like me and my client, Blue.

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There are other issues those in my position have to contend with.

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A soul that hasn't crossed over decays at the same rate as the body, but in a different way.

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Our images start out as wavering emerald green silhouettes, quite pungent, I might add.

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In time, the color drains out, much in the same way chlorophyll breaks down in the leaves on the trees.

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The difference is the leaves rejuvenate themselves in the spring while the unclaimed soul withers on the vine.

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Blue is beginning to suspect she is being held in this existence against her will.

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Technically, that's not true.

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With the right amount of gumption, Blue could pass over.

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She isn't aware of how to access the portal, although anyone who put their mind to it could navigate through this spiritual snafu.

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Understandably, Blue is conflicted with her concerns over her child.

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That's starting to change now, however, because her baby has survived the worst of the trauma.

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I'm starting to field a lot of questions I really don't want to answer.

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I have my own agenda to think about.

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Blue's cynical attitude isn't going to move the needle with me.

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If Blue wants to cross over, she'll have to clear the blockage that prevents her passage into the other realm, that's going to require the help of those who are still breathing, be it man or animal.

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Since it's going to be the latter in this case, Blue will have to adopt a spirit of cooperation with her rival, Skitters the Cat.

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Only time will tell how well that goes.

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Next!

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In case you haven't noticed, you've been ghosted.

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Chapter 10, Blue McKenna Why am I here?

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What is the purpose of my existence?

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Where is DB.

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Cooper?

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These are all questions I should have been asking when I was alive.

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Now I'm a horrendous shade of gassy green with a case worker who is highly suspect.

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Did you know I died in the same place as Gertrude Fletcher?

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I heard her husband Boyd lay that little nugget of info on my stepson, Brandon.

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I kept my distance, not wanting to offend their senses with my postmortem perfume.

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But I was close enough to hear Boyd's sales pitch to Brandon.

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Since he's angling to get my stepson to do his bidding, there's really no other way to characterize it.

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Um, excuse me, Gertrude?

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I said.

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What in the blue blazing hell is going on here?

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Sometimes I get a kick out of tossing my name around.

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Just something to do when you have eternity and smell like a month old filet of fish sandwich.

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I've been dead six months now.

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The clock is ticking.

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And why didn't you tell me I was about to be ghosted by my own self?

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The thought that soon I won't even be able to stink up the place suddenly seemed tragic.

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Gertrude gave me another one of those cryptic answers that didn't mean anything.

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She is the ultimate bureaucrat.

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Baffling, boring and very helpful in a non-helpful way.

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Until now, I'd been afraid to challenge her, not wanting to ruffle the feathers of someone pleading my case to the people in the main office.

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Now I'm wondering if there even is a main office.

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And if so, why in heaven's name haven't they addressed my situation?

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The one thing Gertrude and I agree on is that I don't belong here.

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The tactics to rectify the situation are debatable, except that it's apparent whatever Gertrude is doing isn't working.

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According to Boyd, no one that has a pulse can even see Gertrude anymore.

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Soon I'll be a vile memory just like her.

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Nothing more than an overflowing diaper pail.

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No one has the stomach to empty.

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Where was the white light at the end of the tunnel?

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For that matter, where was the damn tunnel?

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They buried me in my white boots.

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Why weren't they walking?

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I'm beginning to remember what happened.

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Rudy was acting like a martial arts sensei, kicking my innards into the next week.

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That wasn't what got me out of bed at 5 in the morning, however.

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After the baby shower, all the women and girls who didn't have a room at Awaina Manger, the only hotel in Naval, had a pajama party at Gecko's Gulch.

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This included Moon and the twins, of course, plus her husband Randall, who had had enough of the heterosexual testosterone offered at Scotty's competing party.

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Randall couldn't wait to join us girls.

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Scotty's daughter Lexi was there, along with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law.

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We ate and talked well into the evening.

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I fell asleep with Moon's twins snuggled under each arm.

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It was the last human touch I experienced before my hard drive got deleted.

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Other than a mishap involving Skitters and the caterer, it was a perfect celebration.

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I heard after the fact, that shedding glob of scornful blubber gate-crashed the goody truck.

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Moon was kind enough not to relay this information to me until after the baby shower was over.

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The invitation suggested partygoers make a donation to the Naval Base Hospital in lieu of gifts.

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Little did I know Rudy would become a long-term resident there.

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In the old days, Scotty was able to fly under the radar.

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He has less hair than Mr.

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Clean and spends most of his day with his head up people's rear ends.

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Folks in polite society don't like to talk about the anus, preferring to hear the rectal surgeon sing about it instead.

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After Scotty posted a video about my pregnancy on the band's YouTube channel, I had to start watching where I waddled.

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People actually recognized me as Mrs.

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Scotty Sphincter when we were home in Vegas.

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To rectify the situation, Scotty and I diligently tried to garner goodwill from the citizens in Naval, hoping they'd shelter us from the paparazzi.

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I was pleased with the amount of money we were able to raise for the hospital at my baby shower.

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I invited nearly every female who worked there, and most of them showed up.

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Based on the compliments, I'm guessing none of the guests were aware that the food had been pre-licked by Skitters.

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This sounds kind of selfish, but the one food item I cared about, pumpkin spice cakes with cream cheese frosting, were made at A Taste of Heaven Bakery by Taj.

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He's become a master caker maker, agreeing with me that a party without a cake is just a meeting.

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Taj took one of the pumpkin spice cakes to the shindy at Legacy Grove.

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The other cake was brought to Gecko's Gulch by a guest, thus avoiding the Icky Liquor treatment Skitters gave all the other food.

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I had a huge slice at the beginning of the party and another one after the games were over and the guests were trading war stories about childbirth.

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One woman, a prenatal nurse, regaled us with a tale of a patient they asked to get on all fours to deal with a delivery glitch.

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The woman was so incensed, she began barking like a dog.

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The baby came out okay, but you gotta feel for a kid born to a bitch like that.

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No doubt my party was a lot tamer than the one Scotty hosted at Legacy Grove.

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Everything he does is over the top and costs a fortune.

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Not that it was a contest.

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Moon was one of a handful of people who dutifully dropped some dollars into the hospital fundraising bucket and then snuck me a gift on the side.

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In Moon's case, it was for My Eyes Only, a beautiful photo album with nothing but pictures of Juniper Hollow.

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I didn't need the Midnight Tattler on Granite Ridge to get me interested in the calamitous history of Juniper Hollow.

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Nonetheless, Boyd Fletcher did provide some interesting tidbits I couldn't get elsewhere.

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Prior to kicking my own can into Gertrude Fletcher's dead-end field office, I'd become a regular at Boyd's Storytime Gatherings.

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Despite the steep price of admission, a ride up to Granite Ridge in the same car as Skitters, I couldn't get enough of Boyd's tragic tales of murder and mayhem.

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Boyd no doubt spent hours sifting through his photos so Moon and the twins could scan and reprint them for me.

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Some of the pics were relics from the days of Prohibition when Juniper Hollow was the finest home in Pitt County.

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There were also plenty of modern shots, including one Moon had taken that niggled at the back of my mind, waking me up before Rudy could start using my stomach as his own personal trampoline.

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Being dead has a weird way of warping your memory.

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I can recall things from 20 years ago with precise clarity, but I'm uncertain about what happened right before I died.

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It wasn't until I started thinking about Moon's photo album that I remembered.

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The thing that triggered my interest was a shot of the drainage ditch on the dirt road outside Juniper Hollow.

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The four stone pillars were really too grand for this little bridge, looking out of place in the surrounding red desert.

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Most of the time, there's only a small stream of water that runs under the bridge, fed by the natural spring on the property at Juniper Hollow.

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Boyd Fletcher explained how his grandfather dug a moat around a small circle of land to form the island in the middle.

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Water is almost as hard to come by in this part of the world as a decent cup of coffee.

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I quit drinking it when I first moved to Naval and didn't have anymore until I started attending bedtime stories with Boyd.

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He orders his beans online and grinds them up fresh.

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Once I became pregnant, I had to skip the best part of chaperoning Skitters while he was on one of his dates with Boyd's cat.

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I still can't believe how many humans cater to this flea-bitten feline.

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There's something sadly ominous about the bridge.

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The pillars on the east side are covered in a thick tangle of belladonna, not the kind with the indigo-colored flowers that grow wild all over Juniper Hollow.

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These ones are burgundy red.

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They have the same flutes as the other flowers, only they look foreboding and kind of murderous.

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Of course, all belladonna plants are murderous if you ingest too much of them.

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Belladonna reportedly offers one heck of a hallucinogenic high when taken in small doses.

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Not that I ever tried.

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In my early days in navel, I stuck to pot.

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I was kind of like Cheech and Chong with double A size boobs.

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Sadly, pregnancy only grew them into an A cup.

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Moon included several shots of the bridge in the photo album.

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When you compare the Belladonna growing on the bridge pillars to the ones lining the entrance to the property, you can see the stark difference in color.

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The other odd thing is the pillars on the west side of the bridge don't have so much as a weed growing out of an errant crack in the granite.

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They look almost industrial.

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What with their stately shafts saluting the sky like some kind of perverted rock boner.

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But it wasn't the Belladonna, or lack thereof, that interested me.

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It was the ghoulish white image in the middle of the road that no doubt cost me my life.

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Announcer: Hang tight, kitties.

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Announcer: We'll be back in a scratch.

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Announcer: One good quirk leads to another.

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Announcer: If you're enjoying Quirky Cat Gets Ghosted, you should pounce over to audible.com and snag yourself a download of Quirky Cat Goes Splat by Adele Park.

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Announcer: Splat is the story of two twitchy teenagers who team up with Skitters the Cat to raise holy hell.

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Announcer: Quirky Cat Goes Splat.

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Announcer: It's the cat's meow.

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Announcer: Get splat today on audible.com.

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Announcer: >Let's talk pets.

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Announcer: >On PetLife Radio.

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The photo album was discovered following a rare dust up between Brandon and Taj.

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From what I can gather, Taj has parted ways with his girlfriend, and now Brandon wants to date her.

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When Brandon gets a little older, he's going to wish he hadn't acted like such a coochie monster.

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I've gotten to know the real Brandon.

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Under all that axe body spray and slutster habits, Brandon has a heart of gold.

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I lurk around Legacy Grove as much as I dare.

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Scotty had moved into the howling at the moon phase of grief.

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I can tell he's never actually seen my drifty new look, but my odor can't be ignored.

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Poor little Rudy.

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Everyone blames him for the scent of swamp that wafts in when I'm around.

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I was breezing through the orange trees when I saw Taj lugging his belongings out of Scotty's party shed.

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The windows were open, and I could hear Brandon on the phone with Taj's girlfriend, churning out some machismo bullshit like it was chick chum.

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Taj was moving out of the packing shed in protest.

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The photo album was in a tote bag haphazardly tossed into my writing nook at Legacy Grove.

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Scotty has yet to go through any of my belongings.

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The nook is a kind of glorified closet with a window facing the orchard.

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Despite its limited space, the nook is charming.

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It's got lacy curtains framing the window and the carpet is a deep, creamy plush.

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Other than my desk and chair, the only furniture is a futon.

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Prior to his tussle with Brandon, Taj had been sleeping in one of the booths in the packing shed, making this a real upgrade.

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Scotty was less than pleased with the new sleeping arrangement, not because he didn't want Taj in the house.

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He just didn't want anyone to hear him braying like a constipated pack mule every night.

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Taj was the first person who had even opened the door to the Nook since I died.

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Can you believe that?

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Not one person looked around to see what I'd been working on.

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Not even Brandon.

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The photo album ought to get his attention.

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All I had to do was get it out of the bag.

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Obviously, I can't manage this in my current state.

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Infuriating as it is, my only option is to rely on that uppity heffalump Skitters.

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He isn't going to make this easy.

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I waited until Scotty, Taj, and Rudy left for swim lessons.

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Brandon doesn't have to be at the Naval Weekly Banner until noon, sleeping until 15 seconds before he needs to leave.

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He's running a head-scratcher of a con, holding Skitters up as a therapy cat.

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In a way, it's kind of true.

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Being around Skitters for more than five minutes is enough to send even the most sound of mind running for therapy.

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Brandon doesn't even feed this chunky pouch of stripes.

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Taj does, which is why Skitters was already in the main house, slinking into his daytime comatose near the air duct on the floor in the kitchen.

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I started from the bottom and floated up, gently infiltrating his dreams with my active meth lab odor.

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Skitters was beginning to twitch.

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I concentrated all my energy on tickling his whiskers.

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I'm not strong enough to move anything, but I can make my presence felt in other ways.

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I drifted closer to his nostrils, delighted to see him fidgeting himself out of slumber.

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Suddenly, I was overcome with an irrational fear that Skitters might try to swallow me.

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He devoured everything he could get past his snack.

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His snacky lips.

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I floated up beyond the reach of Skitters' paws, just in case this shedding shyster decided to take a swipe at me.

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His claws would probably pass right through, but why take chances?

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I had his attention now anyway.

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Trying to verbalize anything in this state costs too much energy.

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The goal was to get Skitters up to the nook so he'd knock over the bag sitting on the edge of my desk.

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I felt like a possum hoarding a sweet tater when that ornery old cat rousted his plus-size bazooka off the floor and followed me upstairs.

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At this point, it was evident Skitters was, in fact, trying to take a nip at me.

00:20:02.581 --> 00:20:08.581
Under normal circumstances, I would have taunted this cocky sniz pod into a rage.

00:20:09.901 --> 00:20:21.921
Knowing how important the photo album was and believing it might be my only shot, I sashayed upstairs to the nook, playing an odorous version of Cat and Mouse.

00:20:23.221 --> 00:20:27.101
Taj had left the door open, and the window for that matter.

00:20:27.721 --> 00:20:30.701
Scotty would have flipped his nutter had he seen this.

00:20:31.601 --> 00:20:33.801
Talk about a thermometer Nazi.

00:20:34.381 --> 00:20:37.421
He even used to scold me for wasting energy.

00:20:38.461 --> 00:20:45.221
As much as it eeked me out, I had to keep fluttering in Skitter's face, leading him to the target.

00:20:46.281 --> 00:20:52.161
Now he was truly on the attack, pawing at the air with his claws extended.

00:20:53.161 --> 00:20:58.101
I kept at it, teasing him onto the desk, where the bag with the photo album was.

00:20:58.881 --> 00:21:04.601
I used a series of swooping maneuvers designed to entice Skitters to jump on the table.

00:21:05.581 --> 00:21:17.681
It took a few tries, but Skitters eventually came after me, knocking the bag off the desk, spilling the contents including the photo album, where it was discovered by Taj that night.

00:21:18.501 --> 00:21:27.721
After Taj relocated to the Nook, Scotty started going outside with one of the baby monitors, banefully baying near the tree that had been planted in my honor.

00:21:28.621 --> 00:21:30.941
It was one of the evergreen trees from Christmas.

00:21:31.681 --> 00:21:33.521
I get a live one every year.

00:21:33.541 --> 00:21:40.381
I don't know how people can be so jolly about slaughtering a tree as part of their holiday celebrations.

00:21:41.381 --> 00:21:47.621
Anyway, he was outside when Taj burst out of the house, running to the shed with the photo album.

00:21:48.181 --> 00:21:49.281
Good boy!

00:21:49.941 --> 00:21:53.901
Taj was smart enough to recognize this was important.

00:21:54.481 --> 00:21:56.181
Ex-girlfriend be damned.

00:21:56.881 --> 00:21:59.261
Bros before hoes, I guess.

00:22:00.221 --> 00:22:03.901
For her part, Moon had never thought to ask about the photo album.

00:22:04.421 --> 00:22:06.461
She hasn't thought to ask about anything.

00:22:07.241 --> 00:22:10.781
At the moment, I'd be surprised if Moon had any thoughts at all.

00:22:11.661 --> 00:22:21.281
In the early days of my demise, she was a stalwart of strength, keeping vigil at the hospital with Scotty and comforting the twins as they weeped and mewed.

00:22:22.181 --> 00:22:29.901
Seeing them leave while Moon stood at the gates of Gecko's Gulch waving goodbye hurt me as much as slamming into the windshield of my truck.

00:22:30.761 --> 00:22:35.821
This was the first time I had experienced one of those twin intuition things you read about.

00:22:36.661 --> 00:22:47.621
Moon's anguish as she watched Randall and the twins roll down that dusty road heading towards Naval and eventually on to California would have taken my breath away if I had any.

00:22:48.281 --> 00:22:55.801
I hovered near Moon, longing to comfort her, but she had doused herself in almond sunrise, and I couldn't break through.

00:22:56.681 --> 00:23:02.661
The behavior that had me scratching where my head used to be was Moon's sudden onset of clinginess.

00:23:03.281 --> 00:23:06.521
She started showing up every night for dinner at Legacy Grove.

00:23:07.341 --> 00:23:07.901
I get it.

00:23:08.301 --> 00:23:12.241
Taj is a great cook, and there's nothing to eat at Gecko's Gulch.

00:23:12.761 --> 00:23:17.461
When her polygamist help quit to go to work at Regenerate, Randall took over the cooking.

00:23:18.261 --> 00:23:22.001
I don't think Moon has even been to the store since he left for California.

00:23:22.961 --> 00:23:27.421
Skitters also has made Legacy Grove his new den of hairball iniquity.

00:23:28.221 --> 00:23:35.341
Scotty and I spent a skrill-a-ton repairing the wreckage Skitters left in his wake the first time he lived at Legacy Grove.

00:23:36.001 --> 00:23:45.761
I swear to God, I will kill that striped curry hole if he causes anything more than 10 cents worth of damage while he's hanging around now.

00:23:46.561 --> 00:23:48.801
Therapy Cat, My Ass.

00:23:49.721 --> 00:23:53.541
Speaking of asses, Skitters doesn't care for the color green.

00:23:54.381 --> 00:23:56.921
Of course, I can't hear him talk or anything.

00:23:57.481 --> 00:23:59.341
I'm dead, not telepathic.

00:23:59.881 --> 00:24:06.341
But I can tell by the way Skitters swings his tail back and forth, he doesn't like my smell or my shade.

00:24:07.281 --> 00:24:12.661
The tail switching has so much volition behind it, he could cut corn with that thing.

00:24:13.661 --> 00:24:18.201
Sadly, Skitters isn't the only one who judges a book by the cover.

00:24:19.281 --> 00:24:23.061
Humans have an embarrassing history when it comes to skin color.

00:24:23.581 --> 00:24:25.421
This doesn't go away when you die.

00:24:26.201 --> 00:24:28.901
If anything, it becomes amplified.

00:24:29.921 --> 00:24:36.241
I don't have a racist bone in my body, but I can't help feeling superior because of my ghoulish green tint.

00:24:37.181 --> 00:24:45.541
Sure, I look and smell like seaweed sautéed in fart sauce, but at least I'm not white, like Gertrude Fletcher.

00:24:46.661 --> 00:24:56.821
I'm confused as hell about what is happening to me, but one thing I've come to understand is when you go from green to white, no one can see you anymore.

00:24:57.741 --> 00:25:03.201
Or just barely, like the image I saw near the Bella Donna covered pillars when I croaked.

00:25:03.961 --> 00:25:07.341
Why didn't you tell me we both died in the same spot?

00:25:07.741 --> 00:25:10.621
I asked during a recent meeting with Gertrude.

00:25:11.241 --> 00:25:18.161
Technically, it wasn't the exact place because Gertrude had been traveling in the opposite direction when she crashed.

00:25:18.821 --> 00:25:24.781
But it was the same damn pillar, the one with the hellhound red Bella Donna blooms.

00:25:25.801 --> 00:25:30.121
It's worth underscoring, this woman worked at the DMV.

00:25:31.081 --> 00:25:33.801
Isn't that a little too coincidental?

00:25:34.501 --> 00:25:36.721
I could easily communicate with Gertrude.

00:25:37.381 --> 00:25:39.141
Again, it's not telepathy.

00:25:39.461 --> 00:25:41.661
The undead can just talk to each other.

00:25:42.321 --> 00:25:44.821
I'm not the one who initiates these confabs.

00:25:45.401 --> 00:25:48.621
They happen at a time and place of Gertrude's choosing.

00:25:49.221 --> 00:25:53.381
On this particular occasion, it was at the very bridge in question.

00:25:54.101 --> 00:25:58.681
I'd been snoozing around, curious about those ominous red flowers.

00:25:59.541 --> 00:26:05.541
The blossoms were so big in size, they were almost choking their own vines to death.

00:26:06.741 --> 00:26:12.681
Gertrude's trite reply about this issue not being germane to my case was infuriating.

00:26:13.301 --> 00:26:15.841
When am I getting the hell out of here?

00:26:15.861 --> 00:26:19.281
I asked, finally mustering a little courage.

00:26:20.361 --> 00:26:33.501
I didn't want to leave my baby and husband, but it was becoming increasingly evident I was meandering towards membership in the uptight all-white brigade, the equivalent to being spiritually irrelevant.

00:26:34.221 --> 00:26:40.721
Just because Gertrude claims to have sway with some entity in the main office doesn't mean it's actually true.

00:26:41.681 --> 00:26:45.861
She speaks with authority, but that could just be the DMV talking.

00:26:46.881 --> 00:26:54.261
And as I just pointed out, Gertrude doesn't have anything to write home about when it comes to her recent driving record.

00:26:55.061 --> 00:26:58.741
I want to speak with your supervisor, I demanded.

00:26:59.281 --> 00:27:03.261
That's when two profound things smacked me right between the eyebrows.

00:27:04.421 --> 00:27:09.101
The first was realizing Gertrude was bullshitting me nine ways to Wednesday.

00:27:09.921 --> 00:27:13.281
The second was remembering what caused me to hit the pillar.

00:27:13.841 --> 00:27:23.621
It wasn't my ex-boyfriend, Kip Nichols, traveling past me at what I thought was a pretty high rate of speed for a country road crackling with dawn's early light.

00:27:24.261 --> 00:27:30.801
No, it was that figure in the road, the menacing, opaquely white one.

00:27:31.841 --> 00:27:39.561
I had been searching for the image I had seen in one of the pictures Moon had taken of the pillars over the drainage ditch at Juniper Hollow.

00:27:40.121 --> 00:27:42.361
Who knows if Moon even noticed it?

00:27:43.201 --> 00:27:47.181
It was just one in a series of hauntingly sorrowful photos.

00:27:48.141 --> 00:27:51.081
The details of that morning came back to me in a flash.

00:27:51.901 --> 00:27:56.401
Me, daydreaming along, sure I'd finally connect with the supernatural.

00:27:57.781 --> 00:28:05.721
I didn't want people to know I was going all Ghostbusters at Juniper Hollow, so I led everyone to believe I was just writing a history on the place.

00:28:06.161 --> 00:28:12.561
Technically, this was true, but there was no denying this freaking place is haunted.

00:28:13.321 --> 00:28:15.601
And by more than one person, I might add.

00:28:16.741 --> 00:28:24.001
Titillated by all the tall tales from Boyd Fletcher, I began to research the tragic history about his grandmother's disappearance.

00:28:25.261 --> 00:28:33.841
The body of Delphina Fletcher was never found, with me being in the camp that she never left the area, as some have suggested.

00:28:35.021 --> 00:28:51.401
Anywho, there I was, looking at the pillars as I approached the west side of the drainage ditch, when all of a sudden Kip, the skankiest ex-boyfriend of all time, whooshed past me in his cruiser from the Pitt County Sheriff's Department.

00:28:52.561 --> 00:28:54.941
He didn't have his lights or siren on.

00:28:55.481 --> 00:28:57.941
He was just high-tailing it down the dirt road.

00:28:58.781 --> 00:29:08.121
He may have been on duty or, more likely, he was on his way to snoop at my brunch, having first poked his nosy butt around Legacy Grove.

00:29:08.861 --> 00:29:12.901
Everyone in town was aware that Scotty and I were having dueling parties.

00:29:13.641 --> 00:29:16.381
Kip so bored, I wouldn't put it past him.

00:29:17.181 --> 00:29:19.641
Talk about a cock-a-doodle don't.

00:29:20.501 --> 00:29:25.741
Did you tell the people in the main office about that tacky sack of sludge Kip Nichols?

00:29:26.241 --> 00:29:26.821
I asked.

00:29:27.521 --> 00:29:34.001
Gertrude nodded in the affirmative, saying the people in the main office were reviewing all aspects of my case.

00:29:34.961 --> 00:29:36.221
How long will this take?

00:29:36.621 --> 00:29:44.681
I asked, panicked by the ticking clock, wondering when I would fade into a shade of uptight white like Gertrude.

00:29:46.061 --> 00:29:54.621
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