International Pet Astrologer
Earth, Fire, Water & Air-dale
Pet Horoscopes for the week of December 17, 2007
In this episode... Lucky runs down the week's pet horoscopes for the week of December 17, 2007 and tells the pets in your household what's in store for this holiday season!
Hi Everybody… and welcome to Lucky’s Stars. I’m your host, Lucky. I know it’s been a while since I recorded a Luckys Stars for you, but let me tell you, I’ve been snowed in! Man you’ve never seen so much snow! And the weather’s been so cold I just about froze my tail off! Good thing I got a permanent fur coat!
Well anyway, I’d like to wish you all a happy holiday, and I hope you’ve been thinking about some really cool presents you can send my way! Heh heh! A nice new dog bed with a down comforter and pillowtop mattress would be on the top of my list! Just in case any of you are feeling generous!
Okay, well enough chit chat. I’m going to go warm up my hot chocolate while we listen to a few messages, and then I’ll be right back with this week’s Lucky’s Stars.
Hi y’all, and welcome back to Lucky’s Stars. I’m your host Lucky… and here are the pet horoscopes for this week:
First up is Aries for those of you born March 21st to April 19th. Being stuck on a leash is a real drag. Now I know you’ve wanted to visit some of the houses on your street, and leave them a little holiday present on their lawn, but you’re gonna have to wait until your owners aren’t looking. That poodle down the street has been looking really cute in her holiday collar, and now would be a good time to stop by with a branch of mistletoe. If your owners are having a holiday party, that would be the best time to make your escape. Wait til the guests are all piling through the door, and you sneak quickly and quietly out. Don’t forget your mistletoe, and if you remember, a little treat would be a nice touch too! I’m sure I don’t have to remind you that chocolate is out of the question, so try to grab one of those little hot dogs in the blanket. It’s the perfect holiday ice breaker!
Now moving right along, the next one is Taurus. That’s April 20th to May 20th. Here’s a little tip for this week. Instead of tugging on the leash like they’re serving ribeye down the street, how about just walking along without tugging? Your owner will like that and be much more agreeable to taking you to the dog park. Now if you’re listening, and you’re a cat, that might not be such a good idea for you. So in your case, you should try to refrain from scratching anything in the house this week. Your owner will definitely appreciate that and might even buy you a new toy… or give you a sip of eggnog. All in all, the word for this week is restraint. Just try to take it easy and in the end you’ll all get what you want.
The next zodiac sign is Gemini, for those born May 21st to June 21st. Things may not make too much sense to you at the moment. There’s a lot of activity going on in your house… new smells and sounds. Hey what’s with those candles and the cinnamon scent? You’ll notice a lot of bags and boxes coming through the front door all month long. Be good this week cause chances are some of them are for you! There’s bound to be some baking going on in the kitchen, so that would be a good place to hang around. Someone’s bound to drop something on the floor, or if they’re in a holiday mood, they might even give you a cookie! Just try not to be underfoot. Nobody likes to trip over their dog or cat while they’re walking with a full plate of cookies or a bowl of batter!
All right! Now comes Cancer… June 22nd to July 22nd. All right! Take things into your own hands! I mean paws. Yeah, I know you’re feeling really comfortable all curled up in the patch of sunlight in the living room, but daydreaming about running… and actually doing it are two different things! Now depending on where you live of course… if the weather is warm this time of year, get your tail off the floor and try to get your owner to let you outside! The fresh air is good for you and a little exercise never hurt anyone! Now if you’re like me, and this time of year it’s freezing cold, then you got 2 choices… you can either go outside and romp through the snow. It is refreshing, but it’s definitely cold out there! Your other choice is to just stay lying on your warm patch of sunlight in the living room, and keep dreaming about the spring! Maybe you can talk your owners into putting on a good holiday dvd and you can curl up by the TV and watch.
Next is Leo… for those of you born July 23rd to August 22nd. Now with friends and family coming in and out of the house for the holidays, you’re gonna have to use your instincts and good judgment about how to treat them! Do you bark ferociously at them or beg for a belly rub? Well, I guess that all depends. Did they come in the house with a treat for you? Those people you can trust right away. They’ve shown themselves to be thoughtful. You can probably trust them to give you that belly rub. The others, may just ignore you and walk past you into the house. You’ll have to decide if you want to get their attention. Use your judgment… you’re usually on the money. If you see a guest that’s drinking a little too much, and you think they might throw up on the floor where you usually take your nap, you might want to growl and snarl at them until they decide to leave. That’s right. Let them vomit in a cab somewhere. If anyone’s going to throw up on the carpet it’s going to be you, not a holiday guest.
Well, guess what? We’re half way done! And you know what that means! Time for me to put on my little reindeer antlers and make an appearance at the company holiday party! While I’m cleaning off a plate of hors d’oeuvres, you get to listen to these interesting messages….
Welcome back to Lucky’s Stars, where each week I run down the upcoming pet horoscopes for the week. I’m your host, Lucky, and now back to this week’s predictions.
Virgo, that’s August 23rd to September 22nd. Your owner has definitely been a couch potato this month… parked in front of the TV with remote in hand. They have not been giving you enough attention. You could try jumping up on the chair or couch and snuggling up next to them while they’re watching Deal or No Deal or Grey’s Anatomy and try to look interested. Hopefully that’ll work and they’ll rub your head as they watch. If by chance they’re oblivious… and you know people. They just can’t read the signs, you may have to be a little less subtle. First I would wait for a commercial and try a little whining or soft barking or meowing. If they’re still not getting the hint you may have to go for broke. Wait for just the right moment… that would be the best part of the show… just when you find out what amount is in the suitcase or who the killer is… and bark or meow as loud as you can! A little jumping around wouldn’t hurt either. I guarantee you’ll get noticed!
Next up is Libra, September 23rd to October 22nd. Your job this week, and for that matter this entire month is to help keep harmony in your household. Even though tis the season to be jolly… tempers are bound to flare up when the topic of family visits comes up. Before things get out of hand for your owners, it will be up to you to step in. If you’re a dog, grab your leash and jump right in. Let them know you want to go out for a walk! The walk is actually for them. It will give them a chance to cool off, but they don’t have to know that. They’ll think they’re doing you a favor but actually it’s the other way around! Now if you’re a cat, you’ll have to take a different approach. In the middle of the argument, you show up with a dead mouse and drop it at their feet. I guarantee the topic of conversation will change on the spot! I’ll bet they’ll even forget what they were arguing about! Heh heh!!
Okay, moving along. Next is Scorpio…. October 23rd to November 21st.
Stay alert this week! There are things going on that you just can’t put your paw on! I know you think it could be a visit to the vet, but in fact it could just be a ride to the pet food store! After all it is the holiday season and that means shopping shopping shopping! If it’s a new flat screen high def TV you want your owners to get you, then you’re gonna have to make them get rid of the old one. See if you can knock a lamp into the old one… or try to get your owner to toss you a hard toy while you’re standing right in front of the old screen. It will be up to you to conveniently miss the catch!
Next is Sagittarius… that’s for those of you born November 22nd to December 21st. You and your owner are at opposite ends of the spectrum this week! They can’t get themselves going in the morning without a strong cup of coffee, and yet you’re bouncing off the walls! Must be the cool winter air! By night time you’re ready to cuddle up by the couch and catch some z’s but you’re owner is in overdrive! You may have to keep them entertained to tire them out, so try to reserve a little energy.
Capricorn is next folks! That’s December 22nd to January 19th. Okay, what’s with all this music? Seems like everyone likes something different! The kids are hip hopping around or rockin’ out, the parents are stuck in the 80s… and don’t even get me going with grandma & grandpa! I sure hope iPods are on everybody’s list this year! All this music seems to make them happy, but it’s driving me nuts! Whatever happened to Jingle Bells sung by the barking dogs! Bring that one on! Well, I suppose if you want them to turn off the music you could try howling along… although your voice sounds better than most of theirs! Maybe you can talk one of your owners into taking you down to the karaoke bar! Heh heh! I wonder if American Idol has a pet version?
For those of you born under the sign of Aquarius, January 20th to February 18th, this one’s for you. It must be all the holiday spirit that’s finally getting to you. The line between reality and fantasy seem to be blurring a bit this month. Guess it must be all that talk about reindeer and elves. You never know what to expect. Well, the stars say to just kind of go with the flow… when the going get tough, just take a nap! Anyway, you’ll believe anything this month as long as there are presents and treats in it for you! Just join in all the partying, and make sure they don’t forget that you deserve fun food and presents too!
Well, here we are at the last sign of the zodiac… and that’s Pisces… February 19th to March 20th. The stars say to be friendly this week… and the entire month. Instead of barking or hissing at the other pets on the block, try making friends. I know it’s a stretch but you should spread some of that holiday cheer around… and I don’t mean on the sidewalk! Also, if you see your owners cleaning up the house and putting out the good dishes that can only mean one thing… company! Remember what that means for you… a trip to the groomer. You may want to find a good hiding spot in the house if you don’t want that bath! Your owners are going to want you to look your best for their holiday parties so try to keep yourself clean and maybe you’ll be able to skip the suds.
Okay, that brings us to the end of this week’s Lucky’s Stars. I’m your host Lucky, and I’ll be back again next week with some more advice and predictions for the coming week.
If any of you out there have any comments or questions, or just want to say Happy Holidays! to the old Luckster, you can email me at: email@example.com. That’s firstname.lastname@example.org, and I’ll either answer your question by email or on one of my future shows.
If you’d like more information or transcripts of this show or any other show on the PetLifeRadio network, just go to PetLifeRadio.com, and click on the show of your choice!
So until next time, this is me, Lucky saying… keep looking up at the stars, but watch where you’re walking… you may step in something! I’m Lucky, and I’m out!