Pests, Pests, and More Pests
Linda Tarte................................Bill Holm & Marcia Davis
Itís an episode youíll be telling your great, great grandchildren you heard! Book Character Bill Holm (featured in Bobís books Enslaved by Ducks and Fowl Weather) hijacks the show with the help of Marcia Davis, under the guise of offering suggestions to increase Bobís audience. They lock Bob out of his house and exclude animals from the first half of the episode. In the second half, Bob and Linda apologize for Bill and Marciaís pesky intrusion and spend the remainder of the show discussing animal pests. Bob reads a short selection from Fowl Weather about a mouse nest in their dining room, Linda talks about mice eating her carís O2 sensors, and the episode wraps up with the tale of the sighting of Nosy, an unusual short-tailed shrew.
Questions or Comments? Email Bob at: email@example.com
(Show opens with Bob Tarte leafing loudly through a stack of papers while singing the Pet Life Radio jingle. There's a knock on the door. Chair scrapes loudly. Footsteps. Bob Tarte answers the door. It's Bill Holm.)
Bob Tarte: Book Character Bill Holm Holm! Come in! Come in!
Bill Holm: Hey, Bob Tarte. What the heck is going on here? It sounds like you’re leafing loudly through a stack of papers.
Bob Tarte: Oh, I'm just going through my emails for the show.
Bill Holm: My gosh, it sounds like you must have countless emails there, which doesn’t surprise me, considering the popularity of your podcasts, especially the ones with me in them. How many have you gotten?
Bob Tarte: For the whole show? Since we've started? I'm just counting them now. Since the show started, I've received… (Riffles through stack of papers)… Oh, no, I’ve lost count.
(Starts counting again) Sorry, I should have done this before I started recording this week's show.
Bill Holm: You mean we’re on? That’s OK. I think your fans might like this kind of behind the scenes peek at everything that goes into preparing one of these podcasts.
Bob Tarte: Bill Holm, please stop yammering. You made me lose count again. Now I've got to start over. (Riffles through stack of papers) This is taking up a lot of time.
Bill Holm: Well, while you’re doing that, maybe I should talk about my cat Zippy. She’s about to turn 16, you know. Our listeners might be interested to know that she--
Bob Tarte: Shh, Shh. I lost it again. Well, I don't have to be exact.
Bill Holm: Yeah, why not just guess? How many emails do you have there?
Bob Tarte: Since we started? 13 weeks ago? One.
Bill Holm: That many? I don’t believe it.
Bob Tarte: And it's a doozy. Read it.
Bill Holm: “Bob Tarte Tarte is incredibly funny. If you haven't read his books, don't pre-judge them based on these podcasts, while he's finding his voice and his footing in this totally new venue for him."
Bob Tarte: Now how can you beat praise like that? That’s an actual email from a listener quoting a review she was going to post on Digg.com. I think one email in 13 weeks of shows is pretty darned good. I mean, look. In the whole USA, there are, what, 5,000 people with computers?
Bill Holm: Maybe 5,500.
Bob Tarte: Okay, I'll give you that, maybe 5,500. And how many do you think are connected to the internet.
Bill Holm: Let's say 4,500.
Bob Tarte: So that's pretty good. When I started this show, I certainly didn't have any expectations of, say, getting 100 listeners.
Bill Holm: Of course not. Why would anyone listen at all?
Bob Tarte: Exactly. So I'm pretty proud of that one email.
Bill Holm: I’ll bet you can do better. You could get two. Maybe once you find your voice and footing, someone else might email you.
Bob Tarte: Some day, maybe.
Bill Holm: You could have 90 listeners and get two emails.
Bob Tarte: How?
Bill Holm: I've got some ideas for improving the show. For one thing, it would help if we had a script.
Bob Tarte: No argument there.
Bill Holm: But there’s something even more sensible that I think we should implement…
Bob Tarte: This I want to hear… (MUSIC FADES UP).
Bob Tarte: Hi, I'm Bob Tarte Tarte, author of EBD and FW, and you're listening to WWYT a show about exotic psts. I'm sitting here in my dining room with Book Character Bill Holm Holm, and he's got a few ideas for improving the show.
Bill Holm: I do, as matter of fact. I’ve been thinking a lot about this, and I realized that this is a totally new venue for you. And I reached the conclusion that you really need to find your voice and footing. It’s not hard, either. Anyone can do it. I mean, I found mine in this glass of Johnny Walker Black.
(Sound of something crashing, and Bill Holm yelling “Ouch.”)
Bob Tarte: Oooh, watch the parrot! It sounds to me like you’ve lost your footing, Bill Holm.
Bill Holm: No matter. What’s important is my ideas.
Bob Tarte: Let's hear one.
Bill Holm: Get rid of Linda.
Bob Tarte: Divorce her? That’s kind of drastic, isn’t it? But, if you think it would attract more listeners…
Bill Holm: No, you don't have to go that far. Just get her off the show.
Bob Tarte: Take Linda off the show? She's the best thing on it.
Bill Holm: That's exactly the problem. She's too good. She's so good she makes you look bad. You need somebody who could be worse than you.
Bob Tarte: Worse than me?
Bill Holm: Worse.
Bob Tarte: Where could I possibly find anyone worse than me to do this show? You read my email. You heard what my listener thinks. Who could be any worse?
Bill Holm: I could. Easily. I could be worse in my sleep. And I’ve already got your first guest lined up for us to interview.
Bob Tarte: So, who's the guest you have in mind?
Bill Holm: Marcia Davis.
Bob Tarte: Marcia Davis?
Bill Holm: Marcia Davis.
Bob Tarte: Marcia Davis.
Bill Holm: Marcia Davis.
Bob Tarte: Hmm. Marcia Davis.
Bill Holm: Marcia Davis!
Bob Tarte: Does she own a pet monkey?
Bill Holm: No, but she lives with me.
Bob Tarte: She does? Are you kidding me? Why?
Bill Holm: Because I promised her a part on your podcast.
Bob Tarte: Oh, I see. That makes perfect sense. Yes, that’s something to consider. Perhaps she can send me tape and a resume, and we can discuss a possible role in the future. I have strict--
Bill Holm: And here she is now.
Marcia Davis: Hi, Bob Tarte. I’m Marcia Davis.
Bob Tarte: Bill Holm, I don’t know about this, we haven’t prepared anything…
Marcia Davis: This is so great. I was so thrilled when Bill Holm said you wanted me to be part of the show. I’ve been a fan of yours ever since I read Enslaved by Ducks. You’re incredibly funny.
Bob Tarte: Well, I—
Marcia Davis: And when Bill Holm said I’d replacing Linda as the star of the show, I had second thoughts. Like was I ready? Do I have enough talent and experience? But Bill Holm said you don’t have any talent and experience at all, and look how far you’ve come.
Bob Tarte: Bill Holm said what?
Bill Holm: No matter. What’s important is that she’s here, and we have a show to do. What’s the topic today, Bob Tarte? Are we taking calls?
Bob Tarte: We can’t take calls. This is a podcast. We can take pod calls, from pod people, but we can’t take regular calls.
Marcia Davis: I have a topic.
Bill Holm: What is it?
Marcia Davis: I’d like to hear about how you became Book Character Bill Holm Holm.
Bob Tarte: Oh, no, well, I mean, that doesn’t really have anything to do with pets…
Bill Holm: And the pet thing hasn’t exactly been popular with your listeners, has it?
Bob Tarte: One person sort of likes it.
Bill Holm: Go ahead, Marcia. Pose your question again.
Marcia Davis: Well, Bill Holm, I was thinking that all of the people who potentially listen to your show would be interested in hearing the story of how you became one of the most beloved figures in the entire history of American non-fiction.
Bob Tarte: Maybe we can work pets into it somehow.
Bill Holm: Bob Tarte, please. Marcia, I’d be happy to share the story with all of the faceless readers who have brought a little dash of excitement into their bland lives by enjoying my exploits.
Bob Tarte: My books, Enslaved by Ducks, which is the number one best selling pet bird book on Amazon.com, and Fowl Weather, which is also for sale, aren’t really about you, Bill Holm, although you do have a small part in them.
Bill Holm: Bob Tarte. Whose show is this?
Bob Tarte: I–
Bill Holm: You’re being ungrateful. I’ve given you a brand new co-host, Marcia Davis. And a brand new host, me, and all you can do is interrupt.
Bob Tarte: I–
Bill Holm: You’ve invited Marcia on the show. And I’ve been nice enough to step in and shove you aside, and the very least that you can do is let me do my job.
Bob Tarte: Can I–
Bill Holm: Can you what?
Bob Tarte: Can I hold the microphone?
Bill Holm: No. Set it on the table.
Bob Tarte: I’ve got microphone. I’ve got the microphone! (Door slams, Bob Tarte runs down the basement with the microphone. Sound of footsteps pounding behind Bob Tarte. There’s a scuffle.) No, no, leave me alone, you big bully. (Bob Tarte’s voice grows distant.) Give that back to me!
Marcia Davis (calling upstairs): I’ve got it, Bill Holm. I’ve got the microphone. (MUSIC FADES UP).
Marcia Davis: Hi, everybody, You’re listening to WWYT? And I’m your host, Marcia Davis, because I’ve got the microphone. My guest this week is Book Character Bill Holm Holm, one of the most beloved figures in contemporary nonfiction. It’s such a pleasure to have him with me here today, and I’m sure we’ll learn a lot from all his valuable insights. But before we get to Bill Holm, we’re going to take a phone call. (Phone rings…) Hi, you’re on the air with Marcia Davis.
Bob Tarte: Marcia?
Marcia Davis: Yes, caller, what’s your name?
Bob Tarte: Marcia, this is Bob Tarte.
Marcia Davis: Thanks for calling Rob. Now, what’s your question or comment?
Bob Tarte: Not Rob. Bob Tarte. This is Bob Tarte. Bob Tarte Tarte.
Marcia Davis: Oh, yes. Bob Tarte Tarte. Ladies and gentleman, what a treat it is to welcome Bob Tarte Tarte to my show. As you may remember, Bob Tarte used to do a little podcast here at petliferadio.com, but he never really found his voice, much less his footing. What can I do for you, Bob Tarte?
Bob Tarte: How about letting me back into my house?
Marcia Davis: Sorry, Bob Tarte, but we’re on the air. Do you have a question for today’s very special guest, Book Character Bill Holm Holm?
Bob Tarte: I’ll say I do! Why don’t you just go—(cut off, music plays for a second).
Bill Holm: Well, what a treat it was to hear from Bob Tarte Tarte.
Marcia Davis: You two go way back, don’t you.
Bill Holm: Yes, we do. And I’m proud to have been the reason for whatever success he’s had as an author.
Marcia Davis: That’s great, Bill Holm. By the way, you’re looking especially handsome tonight.
Bill Holm: And you’re lovely, as always, Marcia.
Marcia Davis: Why thank you. But let’s get back to the phones. Hello, you’re on WWYT with Marcia Davis.
Bob Tarte: Hello, this is Bob Tarte Tarte Floral. May I speak to Marcia Davis.
Marcia Davis: This is Marcia Davis.
Bob Tarte: Hi, this is Bob Tarte Tarte Floral. We have a delivery for Marcia Davis. It’s a congratulatory horseshoe wreath with a lovely spray of Michigan winter wildflowers, and it doesn’t look at all as if it had spent the last three days at the VanDroeste Funeral Home in Kalamazoo.
Marcia Davis: How lovely. I love Michigan winter wildflowers.
Bob Tarte: Yes, ma’am. I’m at the front door of the house now if you will allow me entry.
Marcia Davis: Absolutely. (Goes to the door. Opens it, and Bob Tarte bursts in.)
Bob Tarte: Aha! You fell for it. I’m standing back inside my own living room.
Bill Holm: No, no, this can’t be!
(Everyone starts laughing.)
Bob Tarte: Thank you, everybody.
(Everyone laughs again.)
Bob Tarte: Oh, that was lots of fun, wasn’t it?
Bill Holm: Fun doesn’t even begin to describe it.
Bob Tarte: We probably had our audience going for a while. Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce the players in our comedy. Book Character Bill Holm Holm and Marcia Davis. You know, this takes me back. It really takes me back. It reminds me of my childhood in the 1930s when we would sit in the parlor of a Sunday night, papa would tune in the Philco radio, and perched upon the old cracker barrel I’d listen to the latest installment of “Johnson’s Wax Presents Fibber McGee and Molly,” and for the next thirty minutes, I would no longer occupy my mundane little world in the half-way house, but I would be magically transported to 221B Baker Street. In fact, since we have a bit of time left, I’m going to fill up the rest of the show by playing a royalty-free episode of “Fibber McGee and Molly.”
(PHONE RINGS. MARCIA PICKS IT UP.)
Marcia Davis: Hello. Oh, hi, it’s so nice to talk to you. (To Bob Tarte:) Bob Tarte, it’s your producer. (To the producer:) Yes? Thank you. Thank you so much. Well, you, too. No, the pleasure’s all mine. Oh, you’re making me blush. Okay, I’ll tell him. (To Bob Tarte:) Bob Tarte, the producer asked me to tell you that he’s already warned you about filling your show with old episodes of “Fibber McGee and Molly” and that you and Book Character Bill Holm Holm had better get down to business.
Bill Holm: Wait. I’m not sure I want to participate any longer in this charade. I liked it better when Marcia was the host. Oh, the pain, the pain of it all. I’m helpless. Why should I even go on? Why shouldn’t I just end this parody of a life right here, right now?
Marcia Davis: Bill Holm! NO!!! Not on Bob Tarte’s new carpet!
Bob Tarte: That’s right, Bill Holm. Listen to Marcia. Just put down the cheese grater and let’s get this show on the road.
Bob Tarte: Hi. Welcome back to the second half of “What Were You Thinking?” and I’m your host, Bob Tarte. I just sincerely hope that you made it through the first half of that show because I think that was pretty rough. I’m here with my wife, Linda and she’s back…
Linda Tarte: Hallo. How are you doing?
Bob Tarte: Linda, are you glad that you’re not being replaced?
Linda Tarte: I certainly am.
Bob Tarte: Since the first half of the show was about pests, in this case, book character Bill Holme and Marcia Davis, we thought we would continue that theme for the second half of the show. And we’re going to talk about pests. Pest animals. Or animals …considered animal pests. Linda has a little bit of a sinus thing going on right now so…
Linda Tarte: Yeah. If anybody’s got any good cures, homeopathic cures, for sinus just let me know.
Bob Tarte: I’m going to read a short segment from my book “Fowl Weather” which came out in March 2007. And this is about an encounter with a pest. I want to tell you in advance that the reading takes about three and a half minutes and the reason I’m telling you that is that a couple years ago when I was up in Luther, Michigan I was promoting my first book, “Enslaved by Ducks”. I was in the middle of a lung inflammation there so book character Bill Holme went with me and he did the reading that I usually did which was about our little Pocket Parrot, Ollie. And I hadn’t warned people that the reading takes about 10 minutes. Bill was doing a great job reading it and then suddenly in the middle of the reading I heard a voice from the middle of the room saying, “Are they going to read the whole book?” I’m not reading the whole book I’m just doing about three minutes. Just to set it up a little bit…Linda’s trying to chase our cats out of the room…
Linda Tarte: I think Maynard wants to be on the show.
Bob Tarte: Yeah. I do too. That’s our latest cat. What Linda and I used to always do after dinner, and Linda still does it with her African Grey Parrot, Dusty, is that after dinner Dusty would come on top of his cage and Linda plays with him with some toys. And then the parrot I had at that time, Stanley Sue, Stanley Sue would climb down from her cage and she would climb up onto this overstuffed chair that we had next to the cage and then I’d scratch her head. So that’s what’s going on. I’m sitting in the chair. Stanley Sue is on the arm of the chair and I’m scratching her head when suddenly Linda cries out, “A mouse! There’s a mouse running up your chair!”
Now I’d gotten over my fears of mice the year I moved to this house and discovered that the basement was a favorite sight-seeing spot for hornets, spiders, earwigs, snakes chipmunks, squirrels, the occasional well-traveled Norway rat, and most of all, mice. I still hadn’t embraced the concept of vermin jumping out at me though so I lifted the cushion warily, beheld an unpleasant t secret inside the chair and felt the blood drain to my feet.
“What?” asked Linda. “What?”
A writhing mass of tiny pink bodies beckoned “hallo” from a hole in the upholstery that Mama mouse had excavated. For all I knew the entire chair was stuffed to the bursting point with wriggling, sightless entities that resembled mammalian slugs. I replaced all the cushions…or I replaced the cushion and turned towards the rain that was rolling off the leaves of our hackberry tree and had darkened the plumage of the goldfinch on our feeder.
“A…a…mouse nest,” I stammered, though this failed to do justice to the extraordinary sight. Now had the mice been dead my shock wouldn’t have been so great. It wasn’t just that a test tube culture of rodents bloomed in our dining room. It was that I’d seen the creatures in a distressingly helpless state of being. I’d inadvertently glimpsed an unpleasant process usually hidden from human eyes like the secretion of bile by the liver or the production of canned cat food.
“Don’t hurt them,” Linda said.
“I’m not going to hurt them! I don’t want anything to do with them but they can’t stay here!”
Linda looked at me in shock. To her way of thinking, if there was anything worse than stumbling upon undulating pop-eyed furless larva it was depriving the pop-eyed furless larva of their opportunity to undulate. “Well we have to let the mother finish raising them at least,” she said.
“You do see a problem with that, don’t you?” I answered her. “When she’s finished raising them, they’ll make themselves at home and the next thing you know we’ll have mouse nests in our mattress.”
Linda put her hands on her hips. “Well. We can’t just have them die.”
“Okay. How ‘bout if we move the nursery out to the barn?”
Linda decided that this would be okay as long as she tagged along to make sure that Mother Mouse didn’t abandon her chair in transit. I hadn’t seen the Mom when I’d raised the cushion and by the time I flipped the chair sideways to fit it through the front door and lurched it down the porch steps without a sign of her, I decided she must have high-tailed it. We moved briskly over the slippery grass but just as I huffed and puffed my way around the massive evergreen within sight of the barn door, Linda hollered, “Stop! Stop! There she goes! Put down the chair!”
I was happy to oblige. Although the chair wasn’t exactly heavy I was even more of a lightweight and gratefully set it down. The rain increased in intensity, gleeful for the chance to drench a pair of mouse abusers.
“We have to leave it here so that she knows where it is,” said Linda.
“ In this?” I flicked the wet hair from my eyes. “For how long?”
“At least overnight,” she said.
I couldn’t really argue with her since I didn’t see the value in returning a mouse-infested chair back to the dining room. The next thing I knew Linda had taken my hand. “Dear Lord,” she said closing her eyes and bowing her head, “Please let the mouse find her babies in the chair.”
The enormousness of the moment humbled me. Despite all of the people who had preceded us over thousands of millennia of human history I was confident that no one had ever spoken such words in prayer before.
Bob Tarte: So that was a little encounter we had with a mouse. And that’s from my book “Fowl Weather.” If you enjoy animal stories I think you would enjoy that book. And that’s “fowl” spelled “f-o-w-l”. There’s also my book “Enslaved by Ducks” about our animals. Now keeping with the pest theme…Linda, you have an interesting story, sort of an ongoing…
Linda Tarte: …going along with this.
Bob Tarte: Yeah, go ahead.
Linda Tarte: Well, I was driving down the streets in Lowell recently and I noticed on my dashboard lights, there were on in some ways that they weren’t before. There was something that said “VSH” or “VSF” or something like that and then “traction off” and then this picture of my engine. And I thought, oh dear. My heart…Blood always runs cold when I see things on the dashboard light up because I know something’s wrong with the car. But I wasn’t that worried about it this time because I just bought that car a year ago so I knew that anything that went wrong with it would be covered under warranty. So Bob, the following day or the day after, took my car to the dealership and I, because it was in Grand Rapids a few miles away and because my back bothers me I couldn’t drive there. So on his way home from work he stopped by there and then later he came back home and I figured he’d have a happy smile on his face and that whatever it was would be covered under warranty and we all lived happily after. So when he came in the door and had a long face, I started to lose heart a little bit. I said “What? What? What’s wrong?”
He said, “Ahhh…it’s not good.”
I said, “What? It’s not covered under warranty?”
He said, “Well a mouse got in there under your hood or wherever it was and it chewed on wires and this thing it chewed on is the O2 sensor. It’s going to cost $526 and something cents to replace.
I said, “What? Are you kidding me?”
He said “No.”
I said, “How is that possible?” And the worst part about it is that it was probably my fault because we have a live mousetrap in our cupboard ‘cuz I don’t like to kill the mice. And we’ve been catching them with this live mousetrap and because it’s winter here and I don’t feel like going outside, driving up the street – I should drive ‘em up the street a mile or two away instead of just releasing it out the door because what happens is, if you release ‘em out the door they’ll turn right around walk in the back of the house and come right back in your house again, within half an hour they could be right back in your cupboard. Well, what has happened is because of being Mrs. Nice Guy with the mice they’re going in my car to stay warm. That’d be my guess. They get up in that car to stay warm and I think they like chewing on them wires. This is the consequence. “No good deed goes unpunished” as they say and so these mice have gone up and done that damage to my car. Luckily, I think my insurance company is going to pay for replacing it. And it’s a little part about the size of a spark plug so, go figure, why that’d be 500 and something dollars
Bob Tarte: You would know that the mouse would choose the most expensive little part…
Linda Tarte: …little part in the whole car. So that’s what I get for being Mrs. Nice Guy to the mice.
Bob Tarte: Now I should point out that the same day that your check engine light went on, so did mine. And we park right next to each other. So…
Linda Tarte: What do you think happened?
Bob Tarte: …so I haven’t even dared to take my car in yet but…
Linda Tarte: Could it be the same thing?
Bob Tarte: …but I am certain that it’s a mouse that chewed something in the car, something sensor-related and I’m hoping it’s not the O2 sensor because I can’t conceive of calling the insurance company and having the State Farm Insurance adjuster coming out…
Linda Tarte:… again…
Bob Tarte: …again and, you know, we’re going to have the anti-fraud division of the Attorney General’s office stopping at our house ‘cuz no one’s going to believe it. And that makes me think, we hear from people who have rats and mice as pets. I’ve gotten a lot of emails from people who read my books, “Enslaved by Ducks” and “Fowl Weather” and they say, “I have a pet mouse or I have a pet rat.” And we’d like to have some of those people on the show.
Linda Tarte: Almost everybody has a good mouse or rodent story.
Bob Tarte: That’s right. Even if it’s not a pet, if you have a good story about…
Linda Tarte: …something that happened to you with mice…
Bob Tarte: Yeah….with mice or rats. If you have a good mouse or rat story, let us know and we might have you on the show. You just have to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. And you wanted to talk about another outdoor pest.
Linda Tarte: Three years ago, I think you’re the one that saw him first…you were going out to the barn, weren’t you and you saw…Behind our house is a milk house and beside the milk house is some bird feeders…
Bob Tarte: The milk house is just an old stone building.
Linda Tarte:… it’s made out of fieldstone and it’s a little stone building they used to keep ice in. Or ice and milk. Anyway, beside that there’s bird feeders and stuff and underneath that, about three years ago he was walking out to the barn and…and what was it…you saw a little head stick up?
Bob Tarte: I saw a little head sticking up from out of the ground.
Linda Tarte: A hole. There was a little hole in the ground. It was in wintertime…was it wintertime or fall?
Bob Tarte: It was still late fall. There wasn’t snow on the ground.
Linda Tarte: No snow on the ground yet. He saw this little thing stick up out of the ground and then go back down. And of course when he came back in he said, there’s this little thing, there’s a hole and this little thing coming up out of the ground, I don’t know what it is. I just don’t know…it doesn’t quite look like a mouse. But it’s white…and he described it to me and we’d never seen anything like this thing.
Bob Tarte: Yeah. The coloring was very unusual.
Linda Tarte: It was white…It looked like a little finger puppet coming up out of this hole. Was white and it had a little gray spot. It appeared to be kind of faceless. It looked like a thumb sticking up out of the ground that was fur-covered white with little gray spot. Never seen anything like it in my life. It would pop up and then go back down and then pop up and go back down.
Bob Tarte: I had an old Readers Digest guide to just about every animal and plant in North America. It turned out to be a short-tailed shrew.
Linda Tarte: Shrew. A shrew.
Bob Tarte: But it had weird coloring and it’s what you call a lusistic color
Linda Tarte: … lusistic, which is partly …it’s almost like albino but not quite.
Bob Tarte: No. It’s not completely white.
Linda Tarte: The pigmentation is somehow gone but…it was white. You couldn’t hardly see his eyes. If we looked really long at it…We got a picture of it. If you looked really hard you could see a little tiny dot on both sides up high that might be its eyes. But it had a little gray spot on it, like the side of a rabbit would have a spot on it, it was almost like that. But it was shaped like…fatter than your thumb but shaped kinda like that.
Bob Tarte: So we called him Nosy ‘cuz he was always sticking his nose out and if any seeds fell into his little hole…
Linda Tarte: He didn’t like that.
Bob Tarte: no…he would go out…and shove his nose…
Linda Tarte: Tidy up his entrance. Just adorable. Just absolutely adorable.
Bob Tarte: We only saw him for maybe about a week or something, right?
Linda Tarte: Oh no. We saw him longer than that. He was there several weeks.
Bob Tarte: Okay. But bad weather came pretty soon and that was that.
Linda Tarte: He probably hibernated after that.
Bob Tarte: I think shrews only live a year so…
Linda Tarte: We loved him and we wished that he had come back the following year. Even if his relative had come back, I would’ve loved it.
Bob Tarte: Maybe we’ll see a descendant of Nosy.
Linda Tarte: He was just a wonderful… And we would stand at our dining room window, look down and hope that he would stick his head up because we would just go into peals of laughter and joy every time we saw him. It was really fun seeing him come up. He probably took the seeds to eat them, wouldn’t he? Or did he just eat worms underground?
Bob Tarte: I think they eat worms.
Linda Tarte: Okay. So he didn’t like it. ‘cuz the bird feeder was overhead and I think the birds would always drop these hulls and would mess up his little doorway and he was all the time coming up, I’d say about every seven minutes or so to tidy up his entrance. Just a wonderful sight. You never know what you’re going to see around here. I’ll never forget that long as I live, how cute he was.
Bob Tarte: So we bid a fond farewell to Nosy, wherever he is.
Linda Tarte: Bye Nosy.
Bob Tarte: So that’s it for this week’s episode of “What Were You Thinking” and look on the Pet Life Radio website and I will be posting a picture of Nosy and I’ll also be posting a picture of Bill and Marcia and I hope that you can tell Bill from a short-tailed shrew. I’m not sure but….
Linda Tarte: Tell him thanks for their wonderful…funny appearances.
Bob Tarte: So thanks to Bill and Marcia and thanks to our mysterious producers. Bye Bye.
Linda Tarte: Bye bye.