International Pet Astrologer
Earth, Fire, Water & Air-dale
Pet Horoscopes for the Month of May, 2010
In this episode... Lucky runs down this month's pet horoscopes and explains why he's been away for so long!
Well hi y’all and welcome to another edition of Lucky’s Stars. I’m your host, Lucky, and each week I’ll give you the rundown of what the stars and planets have in store for you pets this week!
Sorry it's been a while since I recorded a Lucky Stars for you but I just had to pursue my dream to star on Glee, unfortunately when I howled and barked the Star Spangled Banner they booted me out the door. It seems you folks are the only ones who understand what I'm saying, it must be when I tap into my mystical powers of the universe ya'll can hear me speak. Or maybe I shouldn't have marked my spot at the audition, either way I'll be back there next year so I'd better start practicing!
It's May and that means Mother's Day is coming up so here's a big lick on the cheek to all you moms out there! OK, I'm gonna go to the kitchen for a quick snack, here are a few messages. Then I’ll be right back with this month’s pet horoscopes. Stay tuned!
Well, we’re back so let’s get down to business and see what the stars and planets have in store for you pets this month.
First up is Aries for those of you born March 21st to April 19th. Did you lose your favorite squeaky toy? Soo frustrating when you think you left it under the couch and it's gone! But it's OK, this week, it's bound to turn up, and in a place where you least expect it to be! So don't growl and wonder who took it away from you even though you have a feeling it was that pesky cat. Just be glad you have it back and let playtime begin! And now for the cats. Your Aries cat will be feisty and exuberant. Able to leap tall tables with a single bound the Aries cat is truly an independent creature. Aries is the sign of the powerful hunter so if you're confined to the inside some furry play mice are a mandatory part of the landscape. Do not let this cat get away with any sass or you will be very sorry.
Next up is Taurus. That’s April 20th to May 20th. This week, it's time for you to kick back, relax, and take it easy. Last week was pretty exciting for you, but this week, you're free to unwind. But don't stay cooped up indoors all day eating treats and snacks. Get your human to take you out in the yard for some sun, on a nice long walk, or even to a dog park and maybe you can even meet some new friends. Hopefully ones who don't bite and even share their toys. Now for the cats. The Taurus cat can lay in the sun all the day and just luxuriate. While a good hunter, this feline will create some major tactics to get you to do the providing. Loving to be touched and loved, the Taurus cat demands your attention and will sit on your lap for hours expecting you to be a truly loving provider. Compliments are very important to the Taurus cat and so is a very expensive and elegant collar.
The next zodiac sign is Gemini, for those born May 21st to June 21st. Going to the groomers and having a bath is never a fun experience, but this week, you'll probably rethink that, especially since you're starting to look super-scruffy! Expect your human to take you out for some primping this week. Just think of how great you'll look afterwards and all the treats you'll get for being such a good boy! Now for the cats. Usually a Gemini cat will be a big communicator. If not yowling, it will be purring for you to pay attention. Rubbing around your legs and saying "what's going on now?" Then it will just turn its back on you and walk away. Make sure there are plenty of things for this cat to do or you will have some major damage as precious trinkets are turned into toys. The Gemini is a great playmate for kids and would be happiest if paired with a litter mate.
All right! Now comes Cancer… June 22nd to July 22nd. Guests will be coming this week, so you'd better be on your best behavior! Try being friendlier for a change and make sure you practice some great new tricks to wow the crowd. You might even get a nice new toy or a great meal out of it! And now for the cats. Moody but loving the Cancer cat requires the most when it comes to goodies and treats. If you want tricks you have chosen the wrong kitty. Mood swings are not unheard of and this may be the strange cat that likes to take a bath. The center of attention at one moment and hiding in the attic the next moment. Unpredictable at one moment and just as easy to get along with as a puppy the next moment. A real home body.
Next is Leo… for those of you born July 23rd to August 22nd. It's birthday season for you, so be prepared for a lot of new toys coming your way! Expect to be treated like the king or queen that you are, but remember not to be overconfident. You're still expected to behave! Is that any way to celebrate a birthday? you might be growling. Just remember that everyone will love you even more if you're on your best behavior! Now for the kitties. The Leo cat is a true royal ruler of the house. These cats can make great house protectors and will bask in love and attention. A Leo cat will require the best in food and toys so don't try to throw in some old toy left over from a previous pet. It will not work. A diamond studded collar will make this cat happy though it might settle for rhinestones. Don't try to boss this cat or you may have a real temper tantrum on your hands.
Well, guess what? We’re half way done! And you know what that means! Time for me to grab my leash and go outside! While I’m watering the bushes, you get to listen to these interesting messages….
Welcome back to Lucky’s Stars, where each week I run down the upcoming pet horoscopes for the month. I’m your host, Lucky, and now back to this week’s predictions.
Virgo, that’s August 23rd to September 22nd. That dog you thought was your friend will be snarling at you this week! But before you snarl back and get into a fight, get a grip on your temper first and find out what could be causing this. He may just be having a bad week right now, so try to avoid him at the moment. Before you know it, he'll be coming round again and asking you to play! Now for the cats. The Virgo cat is finicky and extra clean and expects everything in the home to be the same way. This cat will not tolerate a dirty litter box and may just report you to the humane society if you don't keep him or her in an acceptable environment. Extremely loving, the Virgo Kitty will know when you are ill and might even try to snuggle up to make you feel better. Keep a special space because this kitty likes to know that there is always a safe place to hide away when things get to out of control.
Next up is Libra, September 23rd to October 22nd. This week, you may be feeling a little down especially since you're missing some of your playmates. It's summertime and your family's kids are off having fun with their friends! If you really want them to play with you, put on your cutest face and give them the look--they won't be able to resist! Try impressing your humans with an all-new trick, too. Now for the cats. The Libra Cat will demand love and attention. Brush his/her hair. Clip his/her nails. Even a bath might be demanded as this cat knows it is beautiful. This is a cat that will adore a velvet pillow and needs a scratching post to keep nails looking good. Don't forget to show this cat alot of affection or you may see some sulking around the house. Libra cats do not do well left at home alone so it might be good to consider a companion animal.
Now moving right along, the next one is Scorpio…. October 23rd to November 21st. Time for you to meet up with some of your pals. It'll be a great idea for you to head to the park and get some exercise. There will be some new faces there, and one of them is bound to become one of your best friends! Remember to play nice! Now for the cats. If you ever wondered about declawing your cat when it attacked you suddenly from behind the sofa you probably have a Scorpio cat. This is the cat that will make a mess in your bed if you anger it or in some way offend it. You might not even know what you did but if you are single and bring someone over to spend the night, you may find yourself in some real trouble. A few tidbits of shrimp or tuna may get you a reprieve but this cat never forgets if you have insulted it so never forget to say hello when you get home or good bye when you leave.
Next is Sagittarius… that’s for those of you born November 22nd to December 21st. You probably ate something that didn't agree with you, that's why you're not your usual active self this week. Try to keep from messing up the living room rug, but don't worry--even if you do, your human won't get mad at you. Next time, stay away from old biscuits under the bed. Now for the cats. This is a roaming fool in the cat world. The Sagittarius cat will have the most trouble just staying in the house. The need for variety and spice of life is monumental for this cat. If you like to travel, consider if there is a way you can take this cat with you. Training this cat to a leash if you live in the city is an excellent idea as a walk is just up this cat's alley.
Capricorn is next folks! That’s December 22nd to January 19th. The neighbor's cat is hanging out on your yard again and it's starting to get on your nerves. Stay calm and don't get your tail in a twist. Just give it your coolest stare and it will back off eventually. Now for the cats. The Capricorn cat is going to act younger as it gets older. Never leave this cat at home without plenty of extra dry food when you are gone or it will have an anxiety attack. This is one of the most loyal cats and also makes a great family cat. It will relate well with children and it is a good idea as it gets older to introduce a kitten into the household to keep it company.
For those of you born under the sign of Aquarius, January 20th to February 18th, this one’s for you. You've been fighting the urge to chew on your owner's brand-new sandals these past couple of weeks. Keep fighting it; no good will come out of it. Work off the temptation by asking her to take you out on walks more frequently. Now for the cats. Unique personality is definitely the traits of an Aquarian cat. It will adapt well into households with lots of animals and is friendly across species. A bit of a clown, this cat will probably have some eccentric look about it or in some way stand out from all the other cats that you know. Fiercely independent, this cat will need lots of quality time alone. This is a perfect cat to have if you need to work a lot.
Well, here we are at the last sign of the zodiac… and that’s Pisces… February 19th to March 20th. Another trick AGAIN? You're getting really tired of practicing, but just keep that happy smile on your face and that tail wagging. It's all worth it for a treat, a big hug from your owner, and the fact that you're getting smarter, too! Now for the cats. The Pisces cat is most happy with some catnip and a feather toy to play with. A very intuitive creature, the Pisces cat will know when you are coming home even before you have turned on to your street. A lot of sleeping and dreaming are important for this cat. It would especially enjoy a bowl full of fish to stare at for hours.
Okay, that brings us to the end of this month’s Lucky’s Stars. I’m your host Lucky, and I’ll be back again next month with some more advice and predictions for the coming month.
If any of you out there have any comments or questions, or just want to say Hey! to the old Luckster, you can email me at: email@example.com. That’s firstname.lastname@example.org, and I’ll either answer your question by email or on one of my future shows.
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So until next time, this is me, Lucky saying… keep looking up at the stars, but watch where you’re walking… you may step in something! I’m Lucky, and I’m out!